Week/Weak

It's 5 AM, which means that I will be arriving in Moscow in precisely 1 week. Of course, the time difference means that my plane touches down at the much more civilized hour of 2:00 PM Moscow time.

This, for me, is by far the hardest part. I live for new experiences, but I dread the transitions. In the days immediately preceding a departure, I can’t help but view every occurrence, however mundane, as The Last ______. The Last spaghetti I eat. The Last time I watch a certain television show. The Last outing with friends. The Last time I wear a particular outfit. The list goes on. No matter how excited I am about my trip, this instinctive way of categorizing events cannot help but add a terrifying air of finality to everything. Of course, it’s not truly final because I will be returning in a few months. But I suppose that subconscious portion of my mind knows that transformative experiences tend to, well, transform, and that I won’t be coming back quite the same person that I am right now as I await my departure. The people I know and love will also be changing, shifting, and growing during our time apart. Time, after all, has a funny way of marching onward.

I suppose one reason transitions are so unpleasant is that the circumstances you are moving towards are never fully real until you find yourself immersed in them. The present circumstances you will soon be leaving, on the other hand, are all too real. The emotional ties holding you to your current surroundings are far stronger than the pull of an unknown future.

And still I plow forward with gusto. I don’t want to give the impression that these days are all bad, or that I am dreading what is to come. Sometimes, I think of walking into the French Bakery or the Black Market in Ulaanbaatar and a giant, unrestrained grin spreads across my face. This is my triumphant return to UB after two years apart. (I neither confirm nor deny actually squealing in glee while reading the Guide to Mongolia section of the website for Projects Abroad participants.)

I am more excited than words can express. Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to watch the sun rise over The Last Monday.