Cast of Characters

Setting: On a train from Moscow, Russia to Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia.

Cast of Characters:
Free Agents
Angela, 22: Narrator, traveling solo to an internship in UB.

Ola, 21: An erstwhile runway model from Poland with a don't-mess-with-me attitude. Declined an opportunity to join the fashion world in Milan in favor of pursuing her education. Travels with an impressive array of instant soups and desserts and an abundance of bad luck. Traveling to Ulaanbaatar for an exchange program featuring a year's worth of Mongolian language classes. Adores all things Japanese.

Vodka Train-ers
Cat, 21: Student from North London. Making a movie about time travel, using the crossing of time zones as a metaphor. Had 3 parties when she turned 21, one of which involved renting out one of London's top clubs and spending $4000 on alcohol. Denys being rich.

Paddy and Amish, 19: Scottish friends, traveling together. Their accents get thicker with each drink, and after a few no one can understand them save the other one.

Melissa and Rick, 24 and 25: A couple from Manchester, met at a party at age 15 when she was completely wasted and he took care of her. Have been together ever since. Taking time off from their jobs as an accountant and a lawyer, respectively. One week into a full year of traveling together.

Alex and Angus, 21-ish: Australian best buddies since childhood. Alex bears an impressive resemblance to Harry Potter. Seemed quite intent on getting in Cat's pants. Wonder if he succeeded?

The Aussie Tour
The Ugly American Aussie, late 50s: Complains loudly and frequently about pretty much everything. Expresses excessive concern over Narrator's wellbeing, much to her chagrin.

The Un-Ugly Wife: Traveling with her husband, The Ugly Aussie, but never stooping to his level. Largely quite, featuring a long-suffering expression.

The Little Bigot, also late 50s: Occupied his time spinning theories about how "you think they would at least learn some English" and about how "the fat one" must be in charge of the rest of the traders.

Crazy Party Mom: Known for her raunchy humor and good-time habits. Married to The Little Bigot. Enjoys sharing a story about how she used to have a tattoo on the top of her inner thigh, but her "pussy ate it." Said story was accompanied by a pulling down of her pants and underwear to expose said area of her anatomy. This took place about a foot from the face of:

The Desperate Son, mid-to-late 20s: Radiates an air of desperation for peers, especially of the male pal variety. Dubbed "such an ultimate lad" by those who have any idea what that would mean.

The Quiet Swedish Wife: Married to The Desperate Son, she is indeed quiet and Swedish. One has to wonder how she feels about traveling with such in-laws.

The Latecomers
Mr and Mrs Police Report, 60-ish: British couple who boarded the train in Irkutsk. Friendly and talkative, Mrs. P.R. chatted endlessly about family, home life, travel plans, and more while Mr. P.R. was largely quiet. Required significant assistance in communicating their desire for a police report detailing the theft of a phone and wallet for insurance purposes.

Quote of the Week:

"My god, it is like a new culture between my toes. I think that soon they will discover fire!" --Ola, upon washing her feet. There were no showers on the train.

Or, with a nod to gallows humor, a dejected, "I've got blood on my soup."