The Absurdist's Catalog

Today marks three weeks before I jet off on my grand adventure.  It also happens to be the beginning of the month in which I will arrive in Moscow and then finally in Mongolia.  At this point, there isn't too much left to do.  The things that must be pre-arranged are mostly arranged, and it's far too early to start thinking about last-minute planning or-God forbid-packing.

One thing that does remain is to find a host to stay with in Moscow.  I have Couch Surfed before, but it is significantly different this time.  The largest city I have surfed in up to this point has a population of just over 850,000 people; Moscow, by contrast, has between 12 and 17 million inhabitants (depending on what data one uses).  A search using a rather narrow set of criteria resulted in exactly 515 matches on CouchSurfing.  Instead of choosing to go to an out-of-the-way village because there is someone there willing to host me as I did in Honduras, I now find myself with nearly endless choices of hosts. 

Over the past few days, I have been spending hours reading these profiles.  At this point, I have made it through about 2/3 of the results.  Reading so many profiles, written by so many different individuals in a city halfway across the world, is a unique experience in itself.  The more I think about it, the more I suppose that I would liken the feeling to a very strange shopping trip.  Instead of choosing, say, a pair of shoes or a watermelon, I am shopping for life experiences.  How will my visit to Moscow be different if I pick the theater buff instead of the geologist or the party animal?  Who would be able to share their own private Moscow with me, and who will be busy working?  Which of these 515 souls would prove most friendly?  Who is most likely to even respond to my request?  Who would give me metaphorical blisters, and in whose home would I be perfectly comfortable?  For that matter, do I even want perfect comfort, of would I prefer to be edged outside my comfort zone?

Some noteworthy quotes I have run across in all those Moscow profiles:

• "I live together with my boyfriend, we both are very hostile persons."
• "I draw giraffes and in spare time I go to university"
• "Bear in mind that I have two ferrets, you mustn't want to kill them"
• "Was born in secrecy from parents.I believe in life after death, love after sex and after shave cream."
• "our home is not for people who like comfort, but we are easy and hostile!"
• "We don't smoke, but we love a hookah"  (what, as a paperweight?)
• "I'm a meat eater, so if you get butthurt by seeing animal corpses - make conclusions."
• my guests can sleep on a couch in living room. no people sleep there.  it's violet :)
• I don't have pets, exept for the ladybirds, who sometimes apear on our plant. Whoever comes, we greet it and call Boris.

And perhaps my favorite...

• "i want to help people from another countries who hopes to meet bears with vodka & balalaika dressed in a cap with earflaps on Moscow streets"  An offer like that is pretty hard to turn down, and I have an overwhelming desire to stay with this person for that statement and that statement alone.

I feel confident that once I eventually find someone willing to host me, I will be in for a wonderful experience.  The CouchSurfing community is a remarkably positive group of people, and I have no doubt that I will have fun with whomever I stay with.  But nevertheless, I find shopping at the Life Experience Catalog to be a bizarre experience indeed.